[SemajChaos]

Tell me a joke, mmkay. Dtier will rate it. Who's ever joke is funniest, gets a special forum prize. Frequent posts/entries is recommended. Tell your friends.

[Hguols]

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?

Spoiler

You can't gargle sand.

What do I win?

This post has been edited by Hguols: 30 September 2011 - 03:54 AM

[SemajChaos]

lmao

inb4Halcyon

[CrossXchaos]

Typical morning =

Get up

Make Breakfast

Take a shit

Get out of bed

[Halcyon Dtier]

Not a joke fan.

Get hatter to rate them.

[Virtuos]

Mom : So how was the test?

Child : It was HARD.

Dad : That's what your mom said.

[Hguols]

Pete gets thrown in jail with a guy named Bubba.
The first thing Bubba says is, "Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?"
Since Bubba was very large, Pete thought that not answering, or not picking one would be bad.
Pete said, "uh.... the daddy?" in a hopes to use that role to dissolve the situation.
Bubba gladly says,

Spoiler

Well come here and suck mommy's dick!

What do I win?

[S13driftAZ]

Two rednecks are on a boat, out in the middle of a lake fishing. As they sit and talk and drink beer the entire afternoon, their stockpile of brew eventually runs out. So they curse and swear and begin to row the boat ashore to go fetch some more, when a genie comes out of the middle of the lake.
"You each have one wish." says the genie to the two men.
The first redneck thinks to himself for a minute and says "aha! I wish for a six pack of beer!"
*Poof*
"Your wish has been granted." Says the genie.
The second redneck says to his buddy, "You dummy, you can do better than that! I wish for this entire lake to be beer!"

*Poof*
"Your wish has been granted." Says the genie.
After saying this, the genie quickly disappeared into thin air.
The first redneck sat and stared at the second for a minute before shouting, "You idiot, now we gotta piss in the boat!"

best i could come up with atm.

[S13driftAZ]

Hguols, on 29 September 2011 - 08:54 PM, said:

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?

Spoiler

You can't gargle sand.

What do I win?

Hguols, on 30 September 2011 - 09:53 AM, said:

Pete gets thrown in jail with a guy named Bubba.
The first thing Bubba says is, "Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?"
Since Bubba was very large, Pete thought that not answering, or not picking one would be bad.
Pete said, "uh.... the daddy?" in a hopes to use that role to dissolve the situation.
Bubba gladly says,

Spoiler

Well come here and suck mommy's dick!

What do I win?

I remember when jokes weren't as stupid or as childish as yours

[zanta78]

I don't get Hguols at all, not that you could.

[Hguols]

S13driftAZ, on 30 September 2011 - 11:36 AM, said:

I remember when jokes weren't as stupid or as childish as yours

I know. My jokes just don't quite have the prestige of genies, lakes of beer and rednecks pissing in boats.

zanta78, on 30 September 2011 - 12:00 PM, said:

I don't get Hguols at all, not that you could.

You could. Just try a little harder. ( ^ - ^)

A grasshopper goes into a bar.
The bartender say, "Hey! I've got a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper says,

Spoiler

"You have a drink named Ron?"

What do I win?

[S13driftAZ]

Hguols, on 30 September 2011 - 12:45 PM, said:

I know. My jokes just don't quite have the prestige of genies, lakes of beer and rednecks pissing in boats.

Figures.

[CrossXchaos]

I've got a joke, but it's pretty long...

Spoiler

George W Bush's presidency

[IamEpicFailure]

I'm going to copy and paste.

Quote

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small town. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you." Yes," she says, "I remember it well." OK," he says, "how about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake?

"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.. They walk haltingly along leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.

Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen- year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is. As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else! You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? "You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of a secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[SemajChaos]

Halcyon Dtier, on 29 September 2011 - 10:23 PM, said:

Not a joke fan.

Get hatter to rate them.

You asked me to do something. I'm doing it.

[SemajChaos]

S13driftAZ, on 30 September 2011 - 10:36 AM, said:

I remember when jokes weren't as stupid or as childish as yours

I lol'd at the hostility (along with zanta's which I apparently did not quote). Perhaps I am mistaken but that is what I (and likely Hguols) perceived.

zanta78, on 30 September 2011 - 11:00 AM, said:

I don't get Hguols at all, not that you could.

Apparently my eyes are faulty...

I always get it <.>.

Hguols, on 30 September 2011 - 12:45 PM, said:

I know. My jokes just don't quite have the prestige of genies, lakes of beer and rednecks pissing in boats.

I lol'd at the return.

CrossXchaos, on 30 September 2011 - 06:30 PM, said:

I've got a joke, but it's pretty long...

Spoiler

George W Bush's presidency

I straight lol'd.

This post has been edited by SemajChaos: 01 October 2011 - 04:47 AM

[S13driftAZ]

SemajChaos, on 30 September 2011 - 09:47 PM, said:

I lol'd at the hostility (along with zanta's which I apparently did not quote). Perhaps I am mistaken but that is what I (and likely Hguols) perceived.

When am I not a jerk to you guys

And dont pay attention to that hypocrite zanta

[HiddenStar]

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler

A stick

[SemajChaos]

S13driftAZ, on 30 September 2011 - 11:26 PM, said:

When am I not a jerk to you guys

And dont pay attention to that hypocrite zanta

I'm trying to provoke posts, cuz Dtier said this place is dead lately. Even though when I said MG is dying some time ago, he attacked PANDOX and clans as a whole <3

[Muramasa]

Two nuts where walking down the street one was assaulted

This post has been edited by Muramasa: 02 October 2011 - 04:15 AM